Equanimity Update: Student behavior goals

Can you believe it's already April?! Here in Jackson, Mississippi, spring isn't in full swing yet. Still, it's nice to have more sunlight and warmer days. It's also exciting to bring this semester to a close. I'm eager to see my clients' hard work manifest as higher scores, better grades, improved performance, and greater confidence.

What is equanimity anyway?

Recall, our working definition of equanimity: a noun that expresses what it means to experience life events with mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper - especially in difficult situations. Prior to writing January's blog, I studied the work of Dr. Tara Brach which highlights the restorative health benefits of learning how to sit in uncomfortable situations.

In reflecting on the concept of equanimity as it applies to professional development, I've spent a lot of time reviewing The Year of Equanimity in Education blog post.

1. Have I purposefully stood with children or left them to their own devices?
2. Did I recognize root causes of misbehavior or punish students who lack skills I haven't taught?
3. Am I accepting learners as they are or judging unorthodox pleas for support?

As oppose to shining a light on the bright moments, it's more effect to unpack the cloudy ones.We want to finish this semester stronger than we began, so I challenge you to write about one situation when you missed the mark. Sit with this exercise long enough to uncover one example for each question.

Here's my truth moment.

A student experienced three melt-downs in an hour. He is a lower elementary client with severe behavior challenges; self-control often requires more effort than he can muster.

The task was to write interrogative (asking) sentences. Given his history, I anticipated the task would be a challenge. His initial resistance was expected, so I left him to his own devices. The expectation was that he'd struggle as he'd done before, write the sentences, and we'd move on. So much for expectations...

The first scaffold involved writing asking words on the whiteboard; these are words we use to begin asking sentences. Still, the student opted to start sentences using his own words even after reviewing our list of asking words a few times. Surprisingly, this support failed miserably as well.

Via questioning, I learned that the student wanted to write declarative (telling) sentences instead of asking sentences. I smiled, said I understood, and confirmed that we had to write the asking sentences to move on; this response escalated the situation to self-harm. I was flabbergasted and hurt for him.

My spirit of perseverance took over. We were going to finish writing these six (or seven) sentences. Today. So, I dug deeper.

As I'm brainstorming strategies to end the session on a high note, he's throwing writing utensils, crying loudly, and kicking on the floor. The noise and distractions made it difficult to think, so I picked him up and sat him on my knee. He fought and struggled. I wrapped my arms around him and rocked him. I'm not sure why; I'd never done this before with a client. But, it worked.

He quieted himself during this time and his breathing returned to normal. I read over a document, and we remained in this position until he asked to write the interrogative sentences. Go figure!

I was pleased that he eventually completed the task. It wasn't good enough to complete the task. Next time, we'd need to complete the task within a much shorter time period.

Here's how I plan to end stronger.

Days later, the potential of a similar challenge swelled under the surface as we learned to sort spelling words in ABC order. I promised to end the session if he didn't choose to stay on task. Immediately, he cried that he wanted to stay and finish his homework. (My heart melted.)

I decided to incorporated my trusty star system to keep the student mindful of his behavior. He'd earn a star for unproductive behaviors. Three stars signaled the session would end. This client also had the opportunity to get rid of stars by choosing one of a few productive behaviors I'd explained and modeled for him.

Deep down students want to learn; they also want to demonstrate mastery. During our most recent session, the same client struggled with self-control and didn't give up on the task at hand. I was so excited for him, and his huge smile showed proof he was proud too.

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You're invited to clap back in a guest post, share feedback privately, and invite me to facilitate your next educator or parent training. Academic and character development training opportunities available. Schedule today: je411.com/schedule.

The Year of Equanimity in Education?

The beginning of each new year prompts many of us to reflect on trials and triumphs of previous years. Maybe you passed a test that's been holding you back at work? Or, you overcame a challenging personal situation? During reflection, it's also common to choose a new way of being, a new way of interacting with the world around us. If you're into making New Year's Resolutions, consider adding equanimity to the list.

Before last month, I'm pretty sure I had never heard nor seen the word: equanimity. If it's not already part of your vocabulary, I'm excited to share what I've recently learned: equanimity is a noun that expresses what it means to experience life events with mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper - especially in difficult situations.

Though this isn't a new concept, I enjoy learning new words to better articulate goals, to keep my cup full. Educators and parents are charged with the responsibility of facilitating positive change in learners, so we have to wake up and show up with a mindset that is ready for everything all the time.

I'm talking about changing behaviors and changing performance. Practicing mindfulness happens to be an effective strategy for coping with the expectation that we feel to do it all; it's a strategy for adjusting when a wheel falls off the wagon and the neatly placed pieces of our lives become strewn all over the place.

Curiouser and Curiouser

It was the definition of mindfulness I mentioned initially that pulled me to 'equanimity'. I wanted to learn more. Then, the more I learned, the more I wanted to introduce this concept to educators and parents.

During my Character and Content training, I talk about an instructional strategy we call incidental feedback. In short, incidental feedback may be described as our unprepared responses to students. Giving this idea a fancy name makes it easy to discuss, but educators and parents give incidental feedback to children. The language we choose when responding to them influences character development which influences learning outcomes. So, the gears in my brain began to turn...

Tara Brach defines equanimity as a heart that's ready for anything. (I love it!) Dr. Brach is a  psychologist who's approach to living a more positive life combines Western science with Eastern principles. She gave a talk that's available on YouTube (video below) that takes listeners deep into what it means to embody equanimity. She also highlights the restorative health benefits associated with building affect tolerance, learning how to sit in uncomfortable situations, giving ourselves space to have an open focus - as oppose a narrow focus.

When you think about an open focus, consider how much more effective people could be as educators, as parents, if we created space to brainstorm the best solutions even under pressure. How could we use this super power to improve our relationships with young people, with colleagues and family? How has unawareness, lack of mindfulness influenced student performance?

When we lack mindfulness, when we aren't intentional about abandoning the visceral responses and underlying thought processes that prompt us to react rashly toward others... students suffer.

It doesn't have to be this way. Dr. Brach gives us three elements of mindfulness: purpose, recognition, and acceptance. Adopting these elements requires rewiring of the brain; we're learning a new skill. As with any significant positive change in our lives, it's imperative to embrace the process. Think journey, not destination. We can move through the three elements via what Brach calls Duck Meditation; play the video to hear her simple yet powerful explanation of the origin of the name of this exercise.

P.R.A. or Pretend

There are times when I find myself facing resistance from a client. It's mind-boggling that people will invest in a service, seek advice from a professional with a proven track record... and not follow through. I'm equally puzzled that the value of free K-12 education seems undervalued (or inaccessible depending on the student). There's a disconnect.

Effective teaching and tutoring involve leveraging character development to affect cognitive development, and dealing with unproductive emotions is an unavoidable responsibility of educators and parents alike. Students' unproductive emotions have the potential to incite the same in us. When chaos spins out of control in the classroom or at home, it's contagious. If we aren't intentional, we may find ourselves sucked up in the tornado.

As we seek strategies to deescalate misbehavior or cope with uncomfortable circumstances, there's an important choice to make: P.R.A. or pretend.

1. Will we purposefully stand with children, seek help to get them through difficult circumstances... or will we leave children to their own devices, pass the buck for someone else to initiate intervention? 
2. Will we recognize the misbehavior or root cause of an issue... or will we blame and punish students for not having learned skills we haven't taught?
3. Will we accept learners as they are, where they are while supporting their growth... or will we judge and dismiss unorthodox pleas for love and support?

These are the questions I've reflected on since discovering Dr. Brach's work, and I hope you will too. When embracing equanimity, we position ourselves to become better leaders in our communities, classrooms, and homes.

You're invited to clap back in a guest post, share feedback privately, and come back to read about my equanimity journey.

Happy New Year!

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I'd love to facilitate your next educator or parent training.
Schedule today: je411.com/grit. 

Harvard Bound: One Student's Passion

During a private tutoring session, one of my middle schoolers made a public service announcement: he's going to Harvard! This announcement was actually posed as a question initially. We were developing an approach for a math project when he asked if I thought he could get into Harvard. Usually, off-topic questions are tabled until the end of sessions since our time together is limited. One pitfall of being a business owner is the temptation to focus on the business and not on the people, to value outcomes over individuals. This time, the decision was easy.

It was how the student posed the question that prompted me to shift gears from tutoring to coaching. He was apprehensive, hesitant... as if attending Harvard was this far fetched notion for a young black man from Mississippi. I can't say the student's mindset was surprising. There are so few opportunities for young people to learn about academic pioneers in the black community. The fruits of HBCU's (historically black colleges and universities), prominent civil rights activists, and sports icons are more widely acknowledged than Ivy League Black History and today's Ivy League Black Reality.

I aim for two outcomes for each client - preK, K-12, adult populations, parents, and educators. I aim to help clients increase confidence and improve performance. My instinct, after hearing the way this student questioned the possibilities for his life, was to seize the opportunity to affirm his ability to not only attend, to graduate from Harvard University. In that moment, I decided that nurturing confidence in his ability to make this dream a reality weighed significantly more than making the grade in math.

What's more, choosing the person over the outcome continues to pay dividends to this day. The student earned an A on the math project by following the plan that we developed together when he returned to school. More recently, he scored 110 as a science test grade on a chemistry unit project. There's no doubt his confidence is manifesting as out-of-the-box ideas and above-average execution of course requirements.

We don't want his growth to stop here. During the holiday break, we're going to spend time researching the life stories of Black Harvard and Ivy League graduates from Mississippi and around the world. Between the lines of his innocent question lies an opening to making reading and research both relevant and meaningful.

During my Character and Content training for educators, we emphasize the value of the words we choose. We discuss the importance of language, how the language of our self talk becomes our actions, how our questioning techniques influence student self talk. You're invited to schedule an in-person or virtual training; options for educators and parents available. 

Cultivating Grit: An approach to increasing confidence is a tool for exploring this concept as well. Learn more by visiting the website: je411.com/grit.

Where Passion Meets Perseverance

Whereas it’s true that what happens at home dictates what happens in the classroom, there’s tremendous value in what educators bring to the table. Research tells us that quality teaching can completely offset the devastating effects poverty has on student performance. In my experience, this begins with understanding positive psychology. Though it helps, you don't have to be a trained psychologist to leverage principles of positive psychology. Here's what I've learned so far...

Positive psychology explores a number of character strengths, one of which is grit. Grit is the place in our being where passion meets perseverance. Empowering learners to persevere in the direction of discovering their passions is complex. Several mantras guide my path. This post discusses a few mantras that remind me of what it means to cultivate grit and nurture grit in learners of all ages.

Do the difficult things while they are easy 
and do the great things while they are small.  
- Lao Tzu

It's not uncommon to try on several pairs of shoes before finding the perfect pair. Assuming your once organized closet is a wreck from trying on every pair with no success, what's next? The department stores at the indoor mall have nothing. The outlet mall has nothing. The event is in two days. You can't go barefoot. Now, you're wishing you'd made better use of lunch breaks during the past month! Imagine being in a frenzy about more than one outfit for an out of town conference. Do you think it's easier to find the perfect pair of shoes for one outfit at a time?... or three or five? Feeling frantic, yet?

Now, let's apply this thought process to education and learning. When the window of opportunity to do that easy, small thing passes us by, we can't get it back. Making the most of the opportunity that's in front of us right now is all that matters until our time is up, until the school day is over, until the tutoring session is over, until the exam is behind us. Though learning is about perseverance and the journey. Making a mental note of the rest stops along the way encourages learners to remain energized for just a little while longer. Helping learners distinguish between go-time and rest-time positively influences internal motivation to persevere.

Consistency breeds trust. 

- Vincent Molina

It was around 4 years ago when Vincent shared this nugget with me during a coaching session. The conversation was about consistently delivering value. In the moment, we were talking about breeding trust with clients and potential clients. I wrote this quote on a sticky note that I've only recently trashed this year - because it's embedded in my brain. It was a reminder to keep going, to keep moving forward. A few days ago, different meaning came from these same words.

Let's consider the example about finding the perfect shoes for an outfit. The struggle is real. It's common for men and women. I'd argue that kids even get frustrated about which pair of shoes to wear. This not only happens when we're preparing to travel, for some, frustration over what to wear - or what not to wear - strikes daily before school or work. At least two people have this challenge mastered: Steve Jobs and my mom. Steve Jobs consistently wore the same thing to work everyday. My mom consistently prepares her clothes for the week on Sunday nights. It's a no-brainer for her. Mission accomplished. What's next?

But, what's happening here? Yes, they preserve mental fortitude by giving themselves one less decision to make in their work day. In making this decision regularly, they also build trust in themselves. They choose not to go with whatever the day brings, they trust that the decision will serve them in circumstances they have yet to experience. Though a simple act on the surface, each small act of self-trust helps us flow with the process. We're making time to listen to ourselves and figure out what we really want, how we really want to live, what our passions are...

In everything, say thank you. 
- Maya Angelou

Gratitude. When we're rushing to find that one pair of shoes, how often do we say thank you? When educating or parenting children, how often do we say thank you? In my last blog post, I talked briefly about showing gratitude. Giselle Chapman is a motivational speaker who tells us to start with gratitude. Over the course of a few of her phenomenal workshops, I gained a deeper understanding about how coming from a place of gratitude improves our ability to perform. The feel-good hormones like dopamine, serotonin, and endorphines flood the brain and help us get things done!

To embrace the complicated and unending process of discovering passion and persevering to bring ideas to fruition, we need to make the habit of starting from a place of gratitude. There are other - less enjoyable - ways around this. But why choose the hard way when we can have fun cultivating grit?!

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About Jackson Education Support: Specialty areas include character development, literacy, math, and science. All ages welcome. We develop in-person and online solutions for educators, families, and learners globally. Read feedback, join the community, and learn more by visiting je411.com. You're also invited to connect with us on social media!

                     

Educational Support: Shaping My Future

I am young enough to recall specific pivotal moments in life that influenced personal choices along my professional path. Yet, I am old enough to reflect on how those moments served as a springboard during my journey. 

Formal education was rocky for me in the beginning. School was not easy. I, like many children who have trouble learning, deflected by misbehaving.  I remember being labeled by teachers and other adults; my self-esteem shrank.  I vividly remember the pain these labels caused.

Fortunately, a fourth grade teacher saw past the superficial and encouraged me.  At first, I applied myself simply because I wanted to please her.  Oh, how I yearned for more positive reinforcement. I became attentive in school and soon found I no longer had a desire to misbehave.   My grades improved, and I passed to the next grade instead of being held back as others had predicted. Eventually, I embraced my mother's love of reading. I viewed books as an escape from reality. I read everything - whether age-appropriate or not - to my mother's chagrin. My mother encouraged reading by purchasing books and newsletters within her limited budget. When I was of age, I registered for a library card at local library. The more I read, the more curious I became about the world and what it had to offer.  I would - and continue to - get lost in books.  

I also received encouragement from my grandmother to do well in school.  Due to her limited 2nd grade education, she could not offer assistance with homework, but she offered support. My grandmother purchased school supplies and attended every school award ceremony. This was no small feat because my grandmother had serious health issues; it took Herculean effort for her to be present.  Later in life, I understood the value of my grandmother's support and encouragement, the value of seeing her in the audience as I accepted an academic award.  Believe me when I say this: I scanned the audience until I found her beautiful face!  Even then, I knew that disappointing her was not an option. She made sure that I had an opportunity to have what she was denied. I was motivated to strive toward her expectations.

Yet another teacher took an interest in me and went beyond the call of duty by exposing me to museums, art galleries and higher education. She would often spend Saturdays with me at Cambridge Commons and Harvard Square "teaching" in a way that many classrooms preclude.  Because of her, I experienced the classroom of life outside of my neighborhood school. This stoked the flames that had arisen from reading.  

Due to the encouragement, exposure to unfamiliar experiences, and educational support received, I developed the self-confidence needed to overcome (what I believe was) an undiagnosed learning disability. Educational support was vital to propping me up so that I could achieve successes and persevere in the face of failures. We know that failures are part of life, but students have to experience success. A record of success is the foundation which fosters the wherewithal to power through obstacles, to once again relish the sweet taste of success. 

Without educational support, my life could have been very different. For these reasons, I am so thankful for a structured educational services provider like Jackson Education Support. This firm provides the  encouragement, exposure, and academic support needed to build self-esteem and promote success among students and citizens. 

Don't let your child's natural-born flame to learn be extinguished. Contact Jackson Education Support to foster your child's life-long love of learning.

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A very special thanks goes to
guest blogger, Mrs. Pamala Feehan.
Pamala is a wife, mother, grandmother, and entrepreneur.
She has experiences as an instructor and director in academia.

The Secret to Student Growth

Do any of these sound familiar? Mindset is everything. Challenges make life interesting. Think positive thoughts. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond. 

Time and again, we realize how outlook influences outcome. The wisest among us leverage this fact to manage stress and respond to obstacles with novel ideas. At age 19, Jessica Matthew invented SOCCKET ball to help those living in developing countries recuperate from power outages. She is quoted saying, "It's not just about providing off-grid power. It's about believing what you put into something can give you something in return".

All too often, the connection between outcome and outlook becomes clear in hindsight. More important, students may not have the skills to develop logical connections between effort and experiences. Honing this skill requires heavy lifting. Much work is required to change the figurative zebra's stripes, but it's possible.

The old way

Traditional views of learning tend to align with the fixed mindset, the antipode of growth mindset. Individuals with a fixed mindset believe they are defined by things they're good at; having a fixed mindset fails to account for the value of effort and the benefit of mistakes. Promoting fixed mindset qualities in students decreases motivation, causes disengagement, and stifles growth. 

The new secret

Today's psychologists and educational thinkers are rallying behind a way of thinking coined growth mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck. Adopting a growth mindset requires one to become self-aware. The secret to student growth involves training students to monitor their thoughts; then, use results to strengthen character. 

Monitor thoughts

By reflecting on internal processes, we identify helpful and abandon harmful story lines. The following questions prompt student reflection.

1. What strategies worked well for me?
2. What strategies did not work for me?
3. What should I do next time?
4. Do I need some help for next time?

As educators and parents, we want to model growth mindset characteristics through reflection exercises as well. Consider making this internal process visible to learners by "thinking aloud", and challenge learners to do the same. Demonstrate the thought process needed to improve a second (third or fourth) iteration of a task.

Strengthen character

Knowledge of character strengths helps us improve those traits working against student growth. Equally important as brainstorming solutions with learners is doing so with a positive attitude about options. (This may call for above average acting skills, at times.)

Not sure where to start? Character Lab offers a number of tools to help. It's a great option for aggregating student and stakeholder feedback on growth. Character Growth Cards are similar to Report Cards in that they promote discussion about strengths and weaknesses; this helps learners leverage strengths to build up weaker skills. The primary difference between Growth Cards and Report Cards lies in the qualitative nature of the former. In place of alphanumeric scores, Character Lab's Growth Card reports qualify student efforts in each of eight character strengths (or character traits). An added benefit is the goal-setting feature used to collaborate with families, build confidence, and improve performance.

Character development is the secret to student growth. Developing character strengths is a strategy for addressing academic challenges and behavior issues. Contact Jackson Education Support to learn how we can help.